guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
