Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
