I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
