Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
