just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Randomize
