Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
