I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
