Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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