Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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