If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
The best revenge is premature balding
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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