Cold hands, warm shart.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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