first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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