i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
