I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
