I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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