There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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