He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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