oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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