i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's not a walk of shame if you run
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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