Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
one might say we're banned from that church
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
