i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
