I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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