I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
