I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
