What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
