Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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