And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
