you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Hippo gnu deer
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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