Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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