it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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