does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
