Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Randomize
