Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
