are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
