How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
