In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
