Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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