I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
