Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it's great music for shaving your balls
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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