Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
