Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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