Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
