after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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