We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
