just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
