He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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