you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize