So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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