i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
you are never too drunk for berry picking
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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