my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
