Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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