hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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