THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
