Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
