guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
